Certificate of Marriage Strength

The record reflects a marriage carrying a great deal of strain at this time.

Review of the responses indicates that in 12 of 16 situations the bearer reported more distance than ease. When a conversation at the kitchen table ends after one word, the bearer collects the plates and says, "Okay."

Note: A strain of this size can make ordinary tasks, such as returning a phone call or planning a weekend, take more effort from you.

It is recommended that the bearer set aside one evening, with phones in another room, to say aloud one thing that went well this month.

Hard stretches outweigh easy ones, and the easy ones are also on file.

The record reflects that in 9 of 16 situations the bearer reported more effort than ease. During a disagreement about weekend plans, the bearer answers evenly for ten minutes and then goes to the garage to look for a screwdriver. Asked how things are, the bearer says, "I'm fine."

It is further noted that your own account of a marriage in this position may sound untroubled, since the good stretches cover for the harder ones.

Recommended: Keep a short written list of this month's good stretches, on the back of the grocery list.

Ease and difficulty are recorded in equal measure as of the date above.

Based on the responses submitted, the situations divide evenly between the two, with no exceptions noted. On a Thursday evening, the bearer laughs at the first remark about dinner running late, says "It evens out," and then snaps at the second remark about the sink.

Attention is directed to the lack of firm footing in either direction, so that one good day or one bad one can set the mood at home for the rest of the evening.

It is recommended that you pick one small, repeatable pleasure, such as a Saturday walk, and put it on the calendar.

Ease outweighs difficulty, with a thin stretch or two on the record.

Testing indicated that in roughly 3 of 4 instances the bearer reported steady footing. Over a missed errand, the bearer states the issue, hears the reply, and offers a fix, and returns to the dishes before the kettle boils.

Additionally noted: steady footing seldom draws comment, so the first thin stretch can arrive with no warning at all.

Recommended: Tell your spouse one specific thing that is going well this week.

Steadiness is confirmed on the record as a whole, no exceptions noted.

Per the responses submitted, the bearer reported warmth, plain speech, and a readiness to be corrected, within tolerance on all sixteen items. On a Sunday morning, the bearer hears a small request from across the room, says "Of course," and answers it before it is repeated.

Also on file: a long run of steadiness leaves little practice at ordinary friction, which may feel unfamiliar when it comes.

It is recommended that you keep doing the small daily things behind this record when schedules fill up.